Friday, February 18, 2005
Does it ever bother you when someone desperatly needs you and you can't help them.
When there is that huge deal that you wish you could make disappear.
Say everything will just be fine.
Everything is normal.
When nothing will ever be the same.
You know you can sugar coat it and say lies.
But that doesn't get very far.
You both know the truth is so far away.
I feel so distant from the ones so close lately.
Life consists of homework - sleep - work - sleep - homework.
Fucking conforming circle of shit.
What do you do when everything is fucked up and never alright.
I wish I knew how to feel.
Mono?
I want something for once.
The only thing that makes me feel good everyday.
It's nice being that girl for once.
I need you for once I need you
because I want to.
But we don't know what to do with each other?
What a fucked up game we play.
Posted at 12:54 am by sammipy
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Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Eww are you still talking.
Thats right I am back and writing in this bad boy. It has been a while but I really think it helps me get my ideas out there and my feelings also. Because Yes, I do have a hard time getting those out. I am oh so confused lately and down-right damn depressed. I am really trying to do the right thing with choices in my life but its so hard. In school you take classes on Health Science Math English---BLAH who needs those classes they will only get you so far in life. Where is the HOW TO MAKE A FUCKING DAMN GOOD CHOICE IN LIFE class, or HOW TO GO SOMEWHERE IN LIFE class, or even HOW TO DO SOMETHING IN YOUR LIFE SO YOUR NOT A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT class. Yeah I don't see those in any of my scheldules in my whole 18 years of life? hmm sure they throw in a aids lectures, safe sex lectures, don't do drugs lectures, and those ohh so random college visitations days. But how do you learn in those......U DONT. The education board is too concentrated on you learning how to write a 10 page paper on something you would never even have a 2 second conversation about or the ohhh soo popular "Lets use the inverse of a matrix to figure out uhh....NOTHING" They are totally going the wrong way here the tests - the homework - give us a break please. We are already so stressed out ourselves about college - getting good grades to pass school - keep up a good social life without being a loser - and a job for cash. Maybe its just me who worry about these things but i have very high doubt thats true. It is senior year and friends have come to a low... dont u think we have enough problems without turning on one another. I guess you don't think so. Everyone these days have an opinon on everything....personally keep it to yourself because I dont care about your pity problems. I try not to inform you about mine - I wish it was more like the army yanno that whole "Don't ask Don't tell deal" Because I could care less about that certain someone that has just touched your life in so many ways and how u are falling in love, lemme inform u of something nothing good can last forever sweetie. Things change and so do people and SO WILL YOU. And that takes me to why I right in here. I honestly dont think you know how good it feels to get all that stuff out. I don't know what my problem is lately I just want to run into someones arms or just run away. - Talk about confuse the hell out of me. People are driving me insane to a point of no return. They just talk and talk and talk and say absolutely nothing at all. I am really hoping no one reads this because it will definiatly be taking in ways that are totally wrong. Everyone will think i am mad at someone. But i am not i try to stay out of the drama because it has become unbareable since last years ordeals. So I won't even bring that up even tho nothings the same but it is pretty much settled for me neways. I got a new job also which is fuckin great to a point because i make 6 dollars an hour which is a lot more than the last job. And another great thing is I don't work at the saxon club nemore. I seriously needed to get away from the need of being with my friends all the time. But that pretty much changed since everyone hooked up. hmm yes there is a lot less time for all of us to hang out and have a good time without worring about seeing the BF or GF. Theres a lot more alone time that goes with that. Everyone is dependent on someone these days...others a little more than some. I feel that i am dependent to a point....others are goners. Everyone is clinging to certain people so they arent alone. I feel that I missed that part of the game because I havent clung on to neone. Woopz So sometimes yes I do spend those sucky nights alone because I am not invited out. Oh well let downs and fucking someone over is just life. I am not pissed at all it doesnt even bother me....but it not bothering me bothers me. But those long nights alone have pretty much stopped because of my new job which by the way has blenty of eye candy. That is all for now...
Posted at 03:10 pm by sammipy
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Friday, August 13, 2004
Rock out with your cock out!!
So yeah 12:36 PM Family leaves for Canada without me! =))
You wonder how something soooo sweet could possibly turn into such a bad idea.?
HaH 2:30 went to work for the entire day and invited wayyy tooo many people.
80 dollars and 40 peaople laterrr there was a PARTY! (Alcohol from Mr. Ricks with a fake ID(thank you))
Too many people - out of control but very funny. I was the babysitter but was not alone Dan Tad and Tracy helped.
Kissing - Passed out people - fighting - crying - throwing up - trashed house -puked on my dog(AMBER??)haha = no fun for me. Well maybe a little fun and good things happened because of this night. <3 Neways got broken up later by me amanda and brian because brian is dumb as hell. Jessi ran and hid in the woods somewhere --- not really sure why. Weird things happen to that girl. Neways after it was broken up me brian and amanda went over a extra-smart plan and brian headed home for the trouble. Turns out no ones in trouble not even drunkass baker who went home or dom and weeeman who jessi drove home in my car under the influence...ahhh wat am I thinking. So the remander of the people who couldnt go home (AD Erika Bre Jessi Raelyn Amber Gino Travis Ricky Steven) stayed. Brian came back at 5;30 and we went to dennys. Then all morning after everyone left me and ad did major cleaning while jessi sleptand dan came to help...=) Then to work. Ricky had to come play video games after work even though I havent slept. 2 hours later Jessi and AD came and I showered and we went to get some food. Back to my house where me and amanda played mario and jessi sleepss again. No G-house but other places we go....then to Tads because he had a birthday party. Funny things always happen there. Watched a movie and enjoyed my night. =)) Stopped at errrikkaaass to chat with her and dana! Craig too) Went home around 2 because i was passing out. Jessi and AD were living with me. Passed out and woke up today late. Cleaned got yelled at when they came home because parties suck...Glad I didnt drink. Went malling and got new earrings then Moca shit -----> to Chedis house. =)=)=)=)=) Yeahhh!
Lack of sleep and no parnents was a gooooodddd time!
Concert sunday!! Fucking yeah cleveland!
-Luv you all!!!
-Sammip
(Sorry couldnt remember it all)
Posted at 12:20 am by sammipy
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Sunday, August 08, 2004
Love - Lust - Love - Lust - Love - Lust - Lust - Lust..
Lust is a definate winner these days. This was discussed with Tads dad after a long time of talking. Thats right Tracy meets the parents so do we. Neways work on Thrusday and Friday was interesting. Much more than usual.
L U S T .
New guy = New convos and you actually find out things about yourself... Like I guess I look like a bad person....even tho he is wrong about that he is somewhat right. Interesting what people really think of you when they first meet you. This is making work more enjoyable.
L U S T .
After work on friday we went to some hotal party with dana ..... too many old people out there and poor dana with steve. Yikes can you say obsessed -Hello buddy system.
M I X E D E M O T I O N S .
Concert was good but what do you expect ALLIWITHANI... Thought more people would be there but I had fun with my girls {Amb/Jes/Mand} and Ricky of course. Snaggle Tooth was there so no talking. -> Damn! Had to break up Tad n Tracy -> {Rated G Please} Sno Cones - Bk - Giant Eagle - Cheep Revenge - Tims. Brian did have it coming but no I worry about my own car....uhoh.
Neways haven't been answering calls...Parents head to the falls {freedom}...Back to cleveland on Sunday for some crowd surfing with the Warped Group...
Summer is coming to an end...and then back to the old school for THEE last year. I'm really thinking about going far far far away from here after talking to some people..
Later Days Kids
-SammiP!
Posted at 04:50 pm by sammipy
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Wednesday, August 04, 2004
So much for my happy ending...
Do you ever regret things soooo much that you feel like screaming forever.?
I DO...
I'm Dumb - Dumb - Dumb - Dumb - Dumb - Dumb!
I wish I never made that phone call.. FUCK! I don't want this
Not even a bit. Now I'm in even deeper.
I dug my hole and now I'm buried.!.!.
Do you ever get so caught up in things thinking they are good but you realize how bad they really are
LATER.?
I feel so sick I think I need to
GAG MYSELF..
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WHAT THE FUCK! im so pissed at myself..
Someone please help me - - - I don't want to be straight Forward.
Because Its all my fault.
i'm thinking about turning off my cell phone for a while..
Yeah like that will help.
DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB.
If you have ne imput on this entry please comment.
-Only 17{Sam}
Posted at 05:21 pm by sammipy
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I know this will slowly fade.
My computer is a piece of shit ... soo writing this is going to be funnn!
The entire weekend was working and getting off early! =) So sunday since it was AMANDAS BIRTHDAY! We decided to PaRtY! Tracy had the Berlin land - I got the alcohol from a friend. Me and Jessi took mike and mike to GE and we were loaded!! So 4 cars full of people headed out there but not b4 having a little birthday fun and cake with amanda! So yeah the whole night was....uhhh well I'm not really sure. Nine beers - a cut on my hand - and a shit full of wet/dirty clothes LATER I woke up to find I wasn't at Berlin nemore - confused and still drunk I went home and passed out - too hung over to get up till 3. Yes I spent my whole drunk night looking for Jessas ass when she was with tim all night! -- yeah im happy for her....was happy for tracy until some people are DICKS and fuck around!! {Bitches} Great night happy birthday amanda....even though you weren't drunk....Bitchass* I really didn't do nething monday I wasn't feeling too good so amber - jessi -ricky came over to chat. I watched a weird movie after they left and then mike called.....So today around 1 i packed my work clothes and went to mikes for a bit. Wow did I feel old.....or too young..{not sure which one} -Made some food and chatted for an hour b4 I had to go to work. Very cute! Then work was a bust becuz brians an ass and went skateboarding instead of work -DICK. So the whole party was me and rickys...grrgrrgrr. Got out of there around 10 and chatted with ricky all night! hah
I can't drive because I keep thinking bout how weird some stuff is.
Jessi went to concert with TIM! -Proud.
Take it be happy SMILE. You can't fake it very well.
-Its all smiles...=)))
=SammiP=
I miss AMANDA DEULEY! haha
Posted at 01:03 am by sammipy
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Saturday, July 31, 2004
Waiting on the edge of my seat...
HoOoLLLLLAAA!
So yeah I am sitting here at Jessas after work and decided "hey this is a greeaaat time to update the ol'blogg - even tho I sed I wasn't going to update all the time.
*-*So I'll tell you about my week or Lack of it I should call it.*-*
Sunday as some (well lotz) will say is the day of church and all that stuff. Well I got drunk in public - yes with my family - yes at my work. umm don't remember monday or wednesday sorry about that. Tuesday my girl tracy pierced her eyebrow. I luv her she stuck that bitch right thru her eye brow....not sure wat happened with that----but i'll let you know. Thrusday I worked. Then to Erikas to play Mario. Me and Ricky are hooked. Ohhhhh I forgot the most important thing on wednesday....me and jessi went shopping with the 5 finger-discount in mind. We rock! Nothing else to say about that. Friday went shopping for AD her birthday is Sunday so tell her Happy birthday. Then to the mall with jess-AD-Traci for some more "Shopping." I got lovely earings(3 pair). Saw amanda and amber. Me AD Jessi Ricky Rob Brian LILpk Hutch and Zach went to work and they skateboarderd it was sweet. Could still get fired tho. Wellll Worth it. Sam Jess and AD spent the night and we chilled and drank and whatever else we do.. Sorry this sucks! I am confused at theee moment...now me and Jessi and whoever else are headed to Tims - So whatever happens happens....
-Sam
Posted at 07:08 pm by sammipy
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Tuesday, July 27, 2004
to hell with you and all your friends..
Yesss Taking Back Sunday CD = Todayy
Thats the only currently good thing. The days have been sucking more and more. Nothing to update about these days my life is boring and summer is a waste. I am not happy right now so tomorrow I am going to cash my check and go to get the TBS CD cause the are so F-in sweet. So if nething exciting happens I'll update but if not these will happen less and less. So enjoy - this blog only is good if my life is exciting. Sorry to you few people who read this ...peace.
-whofuckincares.
Posted at 01:22 am by sammipy
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Sunday, July 25, 2004
The remedy to make the summer great is MUSIC..
OH BABY WAS WARPED TOUR THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE?????
FUCKIN YESSSSSS!!
Ahhh I don't even know where I would start??? I couldn't even sleep the night before...woke up at 6:30! All my favorites were there....Taking Back Sunday<3,SUGARCULT, Billy Talent, Yellowcard, FATA! ...So many more!... So much free stuff! Good memories with my best friends -JESSI/ERIKA/RICKY/AD- Everthing is such a blur today because I worked yesterday and didnt get to update. So many hott guys there too including the bands. Even tho I got molested, covered in guy sweat(i was a sandwich), yelled at people, was pushed around, standing up for like ten hours, so hott there. ....It was the fucking best time ever. We were in mosh pits and got smashed by some very good looking guys. EEEEK I can't even go into detail but I will tell you one think. Me and Erika and Amanda were crowd surfing. The best thing ever. I did it to my favorite song...{Your so last summer} If you want good details just ask.. Thaaannkk Youuuu jessi amanda erika and ricky for the best time i have had in a long time. I also got a sweet TBS shirt... "To hell with you and all your friends" TAKING BACK SUNDAY IS FUCKING AMASING....I didn't want to come back here the energy during that concert is so happy and ________(insert best word you could think of here) I wish I could live that day all over again. Warped Tour 04' baby...can't wait till 05' when amanda and amber go gonna be fucking sweet I LUV THEM TOO!!!! EEEEKKKKK FUCKIN YEAH!!! hah
-Me
-Oh i want to thank amanda and erika for punshing and kicking that guy for meee...luv ya..Crowd surfing!!!!
Sorry so many I can't spell type to fast...
Posted at 03:16 pm by sammipy
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Thursday, July 22, 2004
Yeah so I am updating again today! I bet you are surprised. Actually I was in a horrible mood today. {THANKS A LOT} you kno exactly who you are. Neways work = sucked. I spent a good amount of my morning there. Luckly today for some odd reason I had some sort of control of my emotions and some people are lucky (very lucky) about that. Geez I think i might just keep my mouth closed from now on because every time I say something it gets thrown way out of proportion. So I guess I hate someone...No thats not wat I said. Not hate. More annoying. Not hate though but not my 1st 2nd 3rd .ect to hang out with. I can stand it tho im a strong person. And do me a favor and don't tell me what I do or how I act. I kno damn well who I am and what I do for reasons that are uhhhh YES are up to fuckin me not -you. Yanno what I admit it I am fake. Faker than youll ever kno because no one knos whats up. So don't be surprised because sure you caught me this time but that was the first outta how many. BUT if you don't want me to be fake ( believe me u do) I'll tell you all wats up. {now I sound like amanda Deuley){I luv her u rub off on me and its a good thing} By the way she is the only one who throws moolatte all over the inside + outside of my car and I laugh about it. So everyone needs to shut the fuck up seriously stop bitching.
There that was my first unfake thing. I guess its a start - Thanks for pointing out my flaws....im cleaning up so fuckin well arent I.
Neways my day got a whole lot better as it continued on. Me and Jessi went boating with erika her moma and Bob. Fun stuff. Swimming - made friends. luv those girls. I wish dana coulda came tho! missed her. Me and erika also jumped off a bridge. We had major balls -yes! It was so scary but made me feel ooo so much better. RUSH It made all my problems seem so much smaller. Then after I showered off all the fish poopy water I went to walmart and marcs with Jessi and Amber! We got attacked by that guy I don't like and saw Ricky. Ricky and Jessi are gonna fight tomorrow! Then we went to see amanda! So my day got better! and tomorrow will be even better because warped tour baby! Ill try to see what I can get and ohhh don't worry pictureS!!! heh need some sleep for tomorrow! Night kids!
-Sam
Posted at 11:55 pm by sammipy
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Love my kiddos...
